


Veil

by FloreatCastellum



Series: Missing Hogwarts Moments [11]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Missing Scene, POV Remus Lupin, Sirius death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 06:37:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19420492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloreatCastellum/pseuds/FloreatCastellum
Summary: Remus loses his best friend, just when he thought he had him back.





	Veil

Remus somehow knew what was about to happen before it happened. He ran towards Sirius before stopping suddenly, his breath vanishing from his lungs, watching as he fell into oblivion. He heard only the strange, rushing sound of his own breathing, but then suddenly, above it, the most terrible, agonising, desperate screaming.

Harry was pelting towards the dias - and for a brief second Remus remembered when James had run into a burning building, and he knew that Harry wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t even hesitate as he ran into nothingness after Sirius.

He was screaming Sirius’s name; Remus caught him from behind, his arms around his chest, feeling in some way that he was holding back his own frantic devastation too. Harry struggled against him, still screaming.

‘There’s nothing you can do, Harry,’ Remus told him, his voice cracking.

‘Get him, save him, he’s only just gone through-’ Harry begged, still fighting desperately against Remus’s arms.

‘We can still reach him-’ Harry’s voice was hoarse, almost at a sob, it wrenched at what was left of Remus’s heart as he clung to James’s son, holding him back from what he himself wanted to do just as badly…

‘There’s nothing you can do, Harry… nothing… he’s gone.’

Harry’s howl of grief was an echo of his own heart; it filled him with such agonising pain that it took everything he had to continue to hold him back. ‘He hasn’t gone! SIRIUS! SIRIUS!’

The tears came now, Remus couldn’t control the tremble in his voice as he was forced, by Harry’s desperate denial, to confirm it. ‘He can’t come back, Harry. He can’t come back, because he’s d-’

‘HE - IS - NOT - DEAD! SIRIUS!’

Remus screwed his face up against the pain of it, and he dragged Harry away from the fluttering veil, away from Death’s grasping reach, each terrible cry ripping at his chest, his mind blazing through a thousand memories of Sirius, each one more painful than the last.

Out of the way of the remaining fighting, Remus stopped, and he felt Harry slump against his arms slightly, the fight leaving him as suddenly as Sirius had. Remus grasped his shoulders as he made sure that he was standing - he was still too afraid to let him go entirely, sure that he would try to run. But he stood there, gazing at the arch hopelessly, realisation setting his expression into dazed grief.

He heard Neville asking about Sirius, saw Harry nodding dully, but he didn’t want to think of it, he wanted to get them out, to leave and never look back.

‘Here,’ he said quietly, and he reversed the jinx on Neville’s legs, trying to maintain calmness, trying to keep it together for them. ‘Let’s - let’s find the others. Where are they all, Neville?’

His voice sounded so strange, as though it wasn’t really him speaking, because if it was really him he would me moaning in utter misery.

Neville began to tell him, still speaking thickly through the blood, but there was a loud bang and a shout of pain - Remus barely had time to turn and see what was going on before Harry broke free of his grasp, ripping himself away from what little protection Remus could offer.

‘Harry - no!’ Remus cried after him, but Harry was fast; faster than Lupin had ever realised. He was already leaping over the stone benches after Bellatrix Lestrange, bellowing that she had killed Sirius.

Remus could not leave Neville alone, and nor did he have the energy to chase after Harry or face the woman that had killed his best friend. He watched Harry and Bellatrix vanish, and hated himself for failing, almost immediately, to protect James’s son now that he was the one left to do it.

He seized Neville’s shoulder, believing that it was to keep him safe but also because he needed to seize something to stop himself sinking to his knees. ‘Show me where the others are,’ he said distantly. ‘Dumbledore is going after Harry, he’ll be all right.’

***

He and Kingsley had got the rest of the children back to Hogwarts, and they sat now in the hospital wing, watching as Ron’s giggles subsided and he stared with increasing terror at Hermione, who still lay unconscious.

‘She’ll be all right,’ Madam Pomfrey assured him. ‘Keep drinking your potion.’

Remus was barely listening as they whispered. His eyes were fixed on the dark window, thinking of the many nights he, Sirius, James and Peter had run wild in the grounds beyond. For the second time in his life, he grieved for Sirius, but now there was no hope of him coming back, no hope that his grief would be misplaced as it had been before. He had seen James’s cold, waxy, still face in the morgue and it had haunted him ever since, but that there was nothing left of Sirius at all was just as terrifying. Perhaps Harry had been right and he wasn’t really dead, just sinking through oblivion for all eternity, constantly falling. Perhaps that’s all death was.

The doors opened, and a shrieking cry told him that Molly was here before he had the chance to turn his head. She embraced her children, gathering them in her arms, kissing their heads and crying their names over and over again. Arthur was there too, trembling and pale, and they had been led there by Professor McGonagall; he could hear her murmuring to Neville and Luna. He looked away, back out of the window.

‘Where’s Harry?’ he heard Molly ask tearfully.

‘Someone said Dumbledore’s got him, Mum-’

‘He has,’ said Kingsley in his deep voice. ‘Harry is in his office as we speak, perfectly safe.’

Remus was not sure how he knew this, but then he vaguely remembered Ministry workers speaking to them. Aurors. Fudge had been there too. He did not remember. He could only think of Sirius’s barking laugh.

‘I hope he’s all right,’ said Neville. ‘After his friend… That was awful.’

‘What friend?’ Ron asked, just as Molly asked what was awful.

Remus tensed, but still he did not turn. He closed his eyes, trying in vain to stop a tear from slipping out beneath his eyelids.

‘Neville?’ asked Ginny. ‘What happened?’

‘That… That man,’ said Neville awkwardly, and Remus felt his gaze upon his back.

‘Sirius,’ he said hoarsely, still not turning to look at any of them. He couldn’t.

‘What do you mean?’ Arthur asked sharply.

‘I saw it too,’ said Kingsley quietly. ‘Remus, I am sorry. He was a good man. A brave man. He deserved better.’

Remus raised a shaking hand to his mouth, rubbing over it, trying to control himself. He could hear Ginny shrieking no, and Ron babbling that it couldn’t be, and Molly trying to hush them.

‘Who will tell him?’ she asked in a hushed voice. ‘Harry-’

‘Dumbledore is now, I expect-’ began Arthur.

‘No,’ said Remus hollowly. ‘He saw. We both did. I held him back.’

There was silence, and then he heard movement, and suddenly he felt Molly hugging him from behind, cradling his head. He shut his eyes again, firmer than ever, pressing his lips together as he slumped his head against her, holding back the animalistic howl that yearned to escape from him.

‘I’m so sorry,’ she said. He swallowed. A stupid, selfish, unimportant thought had popped into his head. With Sirius gone, he had nowhere to live again.

‘Professor,’ he heard Neville’s hesitant voice say. ‘Did you also know that man?’

He was so like Alice, Remus thought. If it weren’t for the deeper voice, he could be back in the old headquarters, many years ago. ‘I did, Neville,’ he said, sitting up, out of Molly’s embrace.

‘Who was he?’ came Luna’s floating voice.

Remus gave a shuddering intake of breath. ‘A very old friend. A very good friend.’ He cleared his throat and rose suddenly. He did not want to be here, he did not want them to see him like this. There was only one person he wanted.

‘I should go back to Headquarters,’ he said brusquely. ‘There is work to be done and I must speak to Tonks about it-’

‘She’s in St Mungos,’ said Kingsley. Remus snapped his head towards him, terror gripping him by the throat.

‘What?’ he asked.

‘She will be OK,’ said Kingsley reassuringly. ‘Just a bad curse, beyond Moody’s capabilities. He arranged for her to be taken straight there, I do not think she will return to Headquarters tonight.’

‘I see,’ said Remus, his mouth dry. ‘I hope she has a swift recovery. I must still go. Give my best to Harry, won’t you all? When he… When he returns.’

He cast a glance at the children - Ginny had buried her face into Luna’s shoulder, her own body trembling, while Ron was leaning into his father’s embrace, his jaw set as large tears rolled down his face. Neville sat as though in a daze. Hermione was still sleeping, seemingly peacefully. He envied her.

‘Goodbye to you all,’ he said. ‘I shall see you soon.’

They let him leave without protest. He swept from the room, resisting the urge to break into a run, desperate to get to St Mungos, or somewhere where he could curl against the ground and scream out all the pain that tormented him.


End file.
